Wednesday, April 07, 2010

If Only

If only I would have had known at the time of this Easter dinner two years ago that my Mom would pass away two weeks later on April 7, I would have lingered longer, hugged longer, looked longer, talked longer.
Today marks two years since Vera Maxine Nelson left us for a far better place. I miss her so much. How she would have loved to meet John's lovely new wife and gaze upon baby Ellie with tender love in her eyes and ask to hold her in her lap. Mom dearly loved her family.
If only I could share with her the joys of becoming a Grandmother myself, and how naturally Anne has taken to motherhood. And how John wears his Grandpa's wedding ring as a tribute to the long marriage his grandparents had before him.
If only I could talk with her about our upcoming trip to China and get to hear all about the trip she took there with Dad many, many years ago.
If only I could thank her for her part in helping us realize the dream of having a little, happy nest in the city so that my husband could spent hours not in a car commuting but walking home to eat lunch sometimes.
If only I could thank her for her resourcefulness in cooking, sewing and "making do" with what is available right under one's nose that she passed on to me. And having that "voice" of practicality inside me speak up loud and clear, sometimes when I don't particularly want to hear it.
If only I could thank her, again, for loving me.
Peace to the memory of my Mom.

7 comments:

simplicity said...

Two years already. I am so sorry. I hope that you were able to remember your mom today in peace.
Peace to your mom's memory, deb!

The Lindahl News said...

Thanks, Samara. You know about this journey, too. Thinking of you, and your "If Only" memories as well.

Timi + Andrew said...

I feel so lucky I was able to meet her a little over 2 years ago! She was in a great mood, making jokes which made me laugh even weeks after she had those funny comments. I will always remember her and wish I could get to know her better...

The Lindahl News said...

Timi, my Mom loved meeting you and knowing about the precious Will who would soon be born...Nora, too.

She did make some classically funny comments, didn't she?

oatley said...

What a lovely tribute to your Mom's memory ... but no "If only's" Turn them into "I'm glad I ..." or "I'm glad she ..."

Hard to believe it's been two years already ... love and heartfelt peace, Sandi

soniap said...

What a beautiful tribute, Deb. Thanks for sharing her with us.

Anne said...

This was such a sweet, thoughtful post. Peace be to Grandma who is in a better place now - I miss her so much too!